Saving Easton Read online

  Easton,

  I really hope you read this letter, even though a part of me feels like you won’t.

  I want to tell you to keep fighting.

  Leeland is wrong. What kind of a friend says that to you? My parents agree. Yes, it's true they do. After I dropped you off, we had a big family pow-wow, and I let it all out. The years of them babying him, and what a shitty friend he is.

  When he's there, I told them I refuse to have dinners with them. Dad is worried about you. I didn't know he had been to visit you, but I'm glad he has.

  I’ll respect your wishes for me to not visit, and I’ll ask Amanda to visit the guys here. Today, will be my last day at Oakside, so you don't have to worry about accidentally bumping into me.

  I’ll always be here for you, and I’m just a phone call away.

  Because Leeland was wrong, and one day, you’ll realize that, too. Just don't take too long to do so.

  You’re sweeter and stronger than anyone knows. If anyone deserves happiness, it's you. I hope you find it, Easton, even if it isn't with me.

  Always Yours,

  Paisley

  I hope that’s enough. I want him to know what happened, but I also want him to know I won't be in his way. I want him to heal more than anything and could never forgive myself for being the person that prevented it.

  I place the letter in the envelope and hand it and the food to Noah.

  "I'll take it to him now."

  Then, I turn to Lexi.

  "I’ll honor Easton's wishes. So, this will be the last time I come, until he’s gone, because I want him to heal, and I don't want to be in the way of that. I’ll send a friend of mine with one of her dogs to visit the guys in my place."

  "Oh, Paisley. You don't have to do that," Lexi says.

  "But I do. If he doesn't want to see me, I don't want him worried about running into me. It will slow him down, or even set him back. This gives him the freedom to be here and heal."

  Lexi pulls me in for a hug, and I fight back the tears. I won't cry here. Not where he could see me.

  "We’ll do a girl’s night really soon, okay?" I just nod.

  "Did Jake work today?" I ask.

  "No, he comes in tomorrow."

  Taking a deep breath, I look towards the hallway that leads to Easton's room, as Noah comes out of it. He gives me a sad smile and just shakes his head.

  Well, that’s that.

  "Want to go play, Molly?"

  The least I can do is let her run and play in the grass one last time before we leave.

  As soon as I step out front, I feel a pair of eyes on me. I turn and find Easton in his window, staring right at me. Has he read my letter? I don't know, and this moment isn't about him.

  I unhook Molly and toss the ball and let her loose. She runs hard several times before I can see the moment she’s drained. I hook her back to the leash, turn, and find Easton still staring at me. But I head to the car with tears in my eyes.

  Instead of going straight home, I go see Jake. I should have probably called to let him know I was coming over, but a few surprises will do him good now and then. When I pull in, he’s playing in the front yard with Atticus. He stops and meets me at the car.

  "Hey, a good surprise. Can Molly play?"

  "Yeah, she might be a bit tired out, though.”

  Jake studies my face, "What's wrong?"

  I share the story of what my brother said, and Easton shutting down.

  "It would mean a lot to me if you would keep an eye on him when you’re there. You don't have to report back to me, but just knowing someone else has his back is enough."

  "Of course, and I wouldn't worry, I have a feeling he will come around," Jake says, bumping his shoulder against mine, while we lean on my car, watching the dog’s play.

  "I doubt it.”

  "He’ll open his eyes and realize what he has. Hell, if I didn't know your heart belonged to him, I would try to win you over. I mean it, Paisley. If this doesn't work out, or he doesn’t come around, you’ll find someone. But I saw you two together, and that kind of love doesn't just go away. It will be what propels him to get better. Just you wait and see."

  "Well, I hope so, because I'm out of ideas on what to do.”

  On the way home, my mom calls.

  "Sweetie, I'm making a roast for Sunday dinner. Do you want biscuits or rolls with it?"

  "Is Leeland going to be there?"

  The hesitation from her is the answer I need.

  Irritated, I say, "Then, I won't be there, so I don't think it matters. This isn't something that can be swept under the rug. His actions have now negatively affected others, and he needs to grow up and realize that."

  "Dear, you and Lee are very different people. Men and women are hard wired differently. Women mature faster, and you did even more so. I always thought you were an old soul, who is at least twenty-years-older than you actually are. Lee, on the other hand, he's refusing to face the fact that he's an adult. He doesn't want to grow up, and that's normal. Your father was like that, when I met him, and I was the incentive he needed to grow up. Leeland will find his incentive, you’ll see."

  "That's great. Until that day, I want nothing to do with him, and if you expect to remain in my life, you’ll respect that. Maybe, I’ll be ready to forgive him, but today isn't it, and it won't be tomorrow or this week."

  Taking a deep breath, I say, "I love you, Mom, and I'm sorry you and Dad are stuck in the middle of this.”

  "It's what parents do. We’re referees between our kids and keep the peace. In the hope they’ll be friends, once we’re gone."

  I make plans to have dinner with them on Wednesday, but I don't share anything that happened today, because I just don't have the energy.

  Chapter 34

  It's been a month, since I have last seen or talked to Paisley. A whole month, where I felt like a huge piece of me was missing. Noah has checked on me daily, and every now and then fills me in on what she’s doing, and I cling to that information like it's the only thing grounding me to this Earth.

  It had to be this way though, because her brother was right. Paisley did deserve more, and I was determined to be the one to give her more. But if I had her here with me every day, it was easier to just stay in this place. To only work at the slow pace, I was.

  I needed to push harder, faster, longer, and I did. Now, it's time to get Paisley back. First, I need to make peace with Leeland, and then Paisley. Lee and I haven't talked, since that day at Paisley's house, and I know him and Paisley still aren't talking thanks to Noah, so I'm not sure how this meeting is going to go.

  Right now, I’m sitting in his apartment parking lot in my car that I just bought yesterday. Noah and Lexi have been amazing, helping me and keeping it quiet. I don't want Paisley to know what’s going on, until I have all my ducks in a row, as my mom would say.

  After finding Leeland's apartment on the second floor, I knock on his door. Thankfully, I hear some shuffling inside, so I know he's home, even if it takes him a while to open the door.

  "Man, you look like hell," I say, when he opens the door with stains on his shirt, his hair a mess, and a five o’clock shadow at nine a.m.

  His eyes go wide, as he looks me over. I decided for this visit I wasn't covering my scars, so I'm in jeans and a short sleeve shirt that shows off the tattoos, as well as the scars. A side of me Leeland hasn't seen yet. I also kept the beard, because Paisley loves it.

  "What..." He clears his throat. "What are you doing here?"

  "I'd like to talk.”

  He opens the door and steps back, so I can enter the apartment. It looks exactly how I'd have expected a frat house to look. Empty beer bottles, discarded pizza boxes, and clothes everywhere. Allie looks up at me, as if to say she wants to leave.

  "Haven't been able to leave your frat boy days behind, huh?"

  He shrugs, "Barbie used to do the cleaning."

  "That was over a month ago.”

  "Well, sit down."


  I eye the couch and decide to remain standing, and Allie agrees, even she won't sit on the floor. There are cleaner couches at the dump.

  "I've been doing a lot of thinking about what you said that day at Paisley's. You were right about one thing and wrong about another."

  "Oh, yeah?" He eyes me, sitting back on the couch.

  "You were right that she deserved better. The last month I pushed and completed my treatment at Oakside, and I’m now standing on my own two feet with a job and place of my own. I’m better, and it's all thanks to her."

  "Good for you. Now, we need to give you a proper housewarming party."

  "I’ll pass. See, you were wrong about something, too. I didn't have to go to you, and I didn't owe you anything. We were friends once, but one lunch, doesn't make us friends again. All this," I wave my hand around his apartment. "The partying is more important to you, but that's not me, or the lifestyle I want. I'm here to tell you I’m fixing things with Paisley, and if by the grace of God she takes me back, I'm not ever leaving her side. I'm not asking for your permission, because it doesn't matter if you agree. It won't change my course of action."

  "Then, why are you here?"

  "Because you’re Paisley's brother, and you were my best friend at one point. So, my advice to you is to get your shit together, because this road you’re on, isn't a good one. There’s so much more to life than this. Fix things with Paisley, with your parents, and make things right. You don't know what it's like to wish you would die to just end the torture. Then, be on this side of it and grateful for every day and every minute you have. I'd give anything to go back and have a college experience, knowing what I know now. I didn't get to, but you did, and you’re wasting it. Don't let my dark year be in vain."

  With that, I turn around and walk out without another word, in hopes that maybe I got through to him.

  I'm already tired from today, but I have one more even more important stop. Paisley's parents. They know I'm coming, and her mom insisted on making me brunch, so I'm looking forward to the visit just as much as I'm dreading it.

  I pull up at the familiar two-story home. I spent so much time here growing up, and often I’d be here more than at my own house. All my memories of Paisley that I clung to happened here. The talks with her dad on the front porch, the time on the back porch playing with Leeland, and pretending not to watch Paisley.

  Allie whines, because she wants to get out, so I stop the trip down memory lane and get her out and head up to the front door. They had to have been watching for me out of the window because they open the door to greet me, before I even take two steps on the porch.

  Mrs. Sutton goes to hug me, but then stops herself, probably remembering Paisley’s warnings of me not liking to be touched. I smile at her and pull her in for a hug, while she holds me tight and gives me a hug only mothers can do.

  Mr. Sutton shakes my hand, and that’s when they both see my arms. Mrs. Sutton gently touches my arm, and then clears her throat.

  "Well, that's nothing some biscuits and gravy can't cure. Get in here, boy. You’re letting the flies in." She turns on her heel and goes inside.

  "Alright, we better not keep her waiting. Glad you’re here, son." Mr. Sutton says, and I follow him into the house, making sure to wipe my feet and close the door behind me.

  Mrs. Sutton watches me from the kitchen and nods her head in approval. She was always yelling at us growing up about wiping the mud off our shoes.

  "There are treats for Allie in the cookie jar in the living room. They’re Molly's favorite, but I doubt Allie will mind."

  "This place hasn’t changed one bit," I say, looking around the room. Everything is in the same place, and it still smells like their home. Like the apple cinnamon potpourri you see in stores in the fall, only I've never seen potpourri in this house, not once.

  "Oh, bite your tongue! That’s a brand new couch," Mrs. Sutton says.

  I smile and don't say that it looks exactly the same. It's even the same gray color as the last one.

  "And I upgraded the TV. It's one of those smart TVs that I guess I'm not smart enough to work," Mr. Sutton grumbles.

  The TV is bigger, but it's still in the same place to the right of the fireplace.

  "Well, it looks great. Still feels like home." I smile at them.

  "Oh, the biscuits are done perfectly. Come on over and sit down. We’re ready to eat!" Mrs. Sutton says, and we file to the kitchen and help her carry the food to the table.

  Biscuits, sausage gravy, orange juice, and bacon. It's never brunch in this house without bacon. Some things never change, and it's good to know that.

  We sit down, and once everyone's plates are full, Mr. Sutton turns towards me.

  "So, how are you doing? I tried to visit, and they said you had a visitor ban on. I'm guessing that's part of the reason Paisley has been moping around here the last month."

  I hate that she's been upset, but if she's still moping, I might still have a chance. This is a Hail Mary pass, but I have to try, I have to know for sure I did everything I could, or I'd always wonder and always regret.

  "Yeah, after the incident with Leeland, I had something to do. I needed to figure things out, and it's hard to do or think of anything but her when she's around."

  Mr. Sutton smiles at his wife.

  "That's how I feel. The feeling doesn't go away. You just get better at hiding and managing it."

  "Well, I'm counting on that, which leads to me the reason I'm here. I have a question for you."

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 35

  My brother showed up yesterday out of the blue, and we had a nice, long talk. Apparently, he's ready to pull his head out of his ass and grow up. He apologized more times than I can count. He even brought me my favorite chocolate and wine, though I suspect Mom helped him with that.

  He also stayed and fixed some things around the house for me, and even mowed my lawn. I made him dinner and decided I'd forgive him under the condition that he got himself on track. He says he has been.

  Apparently, he has applied for a few new jobs with more responsibility, and I was one of the first stops for making amends to people on his list. I'm hoping Easton's on that list, but I couldn't bring myself to ask, if he's talked to him.

  For two reasons. Because if he hasn't, then there’s a chance he isn't getting any better. And if he had, then Easton’s talking to everyone but me, and my heart couldn't take it, so we stayed clear of the subject.

  Today, is the day I'd normally be at Oakside, and I still haven't found a way to fill that time in my schedule, even after a month. I'm mindlessly cleaning my house, but other than some dog hair that needs sweeping up, the house really doesn't need to be cleaned. I've tried reading, but I can't concentrate. Jake is at Oakside, so I can't visit him, and after two weeks, Amanda told me I was bringing down the dogs’ moods and making it hard to train them.

  I didn't want to go to my parents’ in case Leeland showed up, and Lexi was working, so I was left to entertain myself.

  I must be going stir crazy and wishing for company because I swear I hear knocking, but I know I wasn't imagining it, when Molly and Reba start barking at the door.

  I sigh and check my hair in the hallway photo frame before I open the door and almost fall over myself to find Easton on the other side. He looks just as handsome as he always does, except now he's showing off the tattoos and scars on his arms. I stand there in shock unable to move or think, as Molly and Reba great Allie.

  "Can I come in?" He finally asks, and I step back to let him in.

  Damn it, why did I have to think cleaning my house would be a good way to kill time today? I have done nothing with my hair, and I'm in shorts and an old, stained t-shirt, and I'm sure I smell like that green cleaning spray I was using way too much of.

  He sits down on the couch, and I sit on the edge of the love seat.

  "You look more beautiful than ever." His eyes roam over me.

  My heart races, and I don't know what to e
xpect, but that simple comment, makes me want to jump into his arms. I sit on my hands to prevent just that.

  "Well, I was cleaning, when you got here, so... but you’re looking good. How’re you doing?"

  He scoots forward on the couch, resting his elbow on his knees and clasping his hands together.

  "Your brother struck a chord with me. Not that I should have talked to him, but his words about you deserving more. The more I thought about it, the more I knew he was right. You deserved someone who could be by your side, and not hold you back, because of his insecurities. When I got your letter..." His Adam's apple bobs.

  Allie winds her way around his legs, and he takes a moment to pet her.

  "When I got your letter, it felt like you were saying goodbye, and I wasn't okay with that. I wanted you in my life, and knowing that, threw me into gear. I worked my butt off to be a man you can be proud of..."

  "Easton..."

  "Let me finish.”

  "No. I’m proud of you, and I was proud of you then. I don't want you to ever think I wasn't, or that I'm not. And I never once felt like you were holding me back. I loved knowing I was helping you and was making a difference to someone for once." I say, and then look over towards the dogs.

  "You have always seen so much more in me than I have. I wanted to see what you saw in me, and I finally do. I’m finally worthy of you."

  For the second time today, this man has shocked me into silence. It's a full minute before I can even think.

  "What?" I ask finally.

  He gives me that sexy half smirk.

  "I met with the doctors and changed my treatment plan. I kicked it up, ripped off the Band-Aids, and pushed forward. I took Noah up on his job offer, and I’m now the head of security at Oakside. It's just Jake and me right now, but we’re bringing on some night time guys. I transitioned out of Oakside and got my own place, though I hope it's only temporary."

  "Why?"

  I get this sinking feeling that he's here to say goodbye, because he's looking to take this super awesome job somewhere across the country. It would be my luck, it really would.